Picking Up the Pieces
by Sun-Tsu Toriden
Summary: Post-Synthesis, the newly united galaxy focuses on rebuilding and looking to the future without Shepard holding their hands and pulling them behind her. But not everyone is living in blissful luxury. Shepard my be gone, but her ripples are still felt, and someone wants her to answer for her actions. Follows the events of 'War and Peace...' and Illyria Shepard. Rated T for now.
1. Prologue

A lone figure stares out into the dark void that is space. The room he sits in is bare, six rectangular metals walls enclosing him, the only features the window out into space, the door into the room, and the single white mat laid out on the floor, which he is sitting on. His feet are crossed in front of him, his arms held loosely by his sides as he stares sightless at nothing and everything in his meditation. For it is only in this state, and only in this room, that he can retain some semblance of what he used to be before everything changed.

But as with all things, a man cannot meditate forever. There are some needs that the mind cannot overrule the body into forgoing, such as sleep, food and other amenities. Thus it is that he reluctantly ends his time staring out, his mind calm and blessedly quiet. He stands up, his mind still retaining its razor-sharp focus as he walks over to the door. As he exits the door, and the only sound is his footsteps and breathing in the cool air, he wonders if today will be different.

_Breathable atmosphere being maintained at 78% N2, 20.9% O2, 1.1% trace gases. Air pressure at 101.3 kilopascals. _

He mutters under his breath, saddened that today's mediation efforts only bought him 15 seconds of peace before it started again.

He walked down the hall to his study, steadfastly trying to ignore the other voice in his head. The first voice was soon joined by another as he sat down at his desk and began reviewing everything that had transpired in the last day.

_Mass effect generators maintaining artificial gravity at 0.95 Earth Normal. Generator output stable for last 157.526984 days. _

He tried to ignore the voice as it split and multiplied into a cacophony in the privacy of his own skull. He picked through the intelligence reports his agents had brought to him, searching for the one thing he was certain would stop it all. Stop him hearing the voices that made him think he was going crazy, help him return to the man he used to be, instead of what he had become.

_Communication encryption level 3 at risk of possible outsider decryption. Implementing automatic encryption upgrade process. _

He heard the sound of the door to his study opening, the hard echoing footsteps announcing the arrival of his top lieutenant.  
"Sir, good evening."  
"Good evening, Anzhelika. I can't find anything in the intel reports, but perhaps you have some news for me, da?"  
"I'm afraid to report there is nothing Sir." The seated man rubbed his temples, both in frustrations and hoping that the pain would keep his mind on the task and not on the voices that plagued him night and day.

_Vocal recognition of subject Shchekochikhin, Anzhelika: average F0 pitch – 225 Hz. Accent and intonation consistent with Slavic cultural community, likely origin region Ukraine. _

"She is the most famous woman in the galaxy Anzhelika. She retired in front of the entire Council, and it was broadcast on anything that could receive a signal. Are you seriously telling me that the woman has simply vanished from the known galaxy like mist in the morning?!" Trying to ignore her boss' increasingly erratic behaviours, she calmly replies.  
"Sir, what I'm telling you is that she, or someone else, has covered her tracks extremely well. The last thing anyone saw of her was her very public retirement. After that, no confirmable sightings and a dozen lookalikes and impostors debunked. No record of her movements, all her accounts emptied and closed. None of her former friends or crew seem to know anything about her, or at least won't say anything to the media. We've been attempting to tap their communications as you are aware, but we have found nothing yet. She's a ghost sir, she might very well be dead for all we know. And of course, no response from the woman herself to any of our public offers or inducements, nor any credible leads from the public either."

_Heart rate rising, current speed 108 bpm. Breathing rate increasing, blood pressure rising. Vasoconstriction levels suggestion high stress. _

"I don't care if we have to find a grave Anzhelika. She know what happened, and she knows how to fix it, you can be sure." He tried to slow down his breathing and heart rate as best he could before he exploded.  
"Sir, if you want my honest opinion, we aren't going to find her. We've even gone to the Shadow Broker to find her, and he says it can't be done. She's gone sir, and we won't find her by looking." He looked up slowly, a mad gleam in his eye.  
"Maybe you're right Anzhelika. Maybe we've been going about this all wrong. We've been looking for a ghost who obviously isn't there. Maybe it's time we tried a different approach." He sat back a little, his thinking mind temporarily blocking the voices.

"I wonder, how long do you think it will take for our agents to procure and prepare appropriately large WMDs?"  
"Are we talking explosive, biological, or chemical?"  
"A good mixture I think. No need to become one-dimensional."  
"A month, Sir, give or take. Are there any particular targets you had in mind?" The man picked up the datapad and began a series of rapid button presses, before handing it to Anzhelika. She reviewed the list of targets, her eyebrow rising further as her eyes read down the list.

"Rannoch, Palaven, Thessia, Mindoir, Tuchanka, Freedoms' Progress, Amaterasu, Australia, Horizon, the Citadel?!" she looked up at her employer, and his look that he adopted when trying to block out his insanity. "Sir, these are high-profile targets on fortified planets in the full swing of rebuilding. This will make you an enemy of the entire galaxy."  
"What it will do is get people's attention Anzhelika. Then we can make our demands. Take a closer look at the target coordinates on each place."  
"I'm not seeing anything except a collection of targets that will ensure the crew of the _Normandy_ will see red."

"They are all connected to her. If we manage to take out at least one of them, then we can make our demands known. This is about getting her attention, lure her out so we can get her to fix this!" he was on the edge now, and could feel himself slipping away, to the point where his implants would auto-sedate him.

_Biorhythmic reading reaching critical levels. Auto-sedation will initiate in 45 seconds unless levels decrease to normal. _

"I don't care about the damage, but try and limit casualties. I want her able to reason, not after my blood."  
"Anything else Sir?"  
"Keep looking for her in the meantime. I want her found!" he shouted, slamming his fist into the desk for emphasis. His body hit the limit, and his implants began administering a sedative.

"Shepard is all that matters now. Find her, or we'll make her find us," he muttered as his body began to cruise to unconsciousness, slumping into the chair. For her part, Anzhelika nodded. She hated seeing him like this, her own uncle, and would do anything he wanted to make sure he got better. He was certain that Commander Shepard could fix it, but she steadfastly refused to come forward or be found.

So if Muhammad won't come to the mountain, the mountain would come to Muhammad. She sent out the orders for agents to acquire the weapons.

* * *

**A/N: Hi All, this is my newest story, a continuation of the events described in 'War and Peace and what comes After.' I hope you will join me in a tale that will shape Shepard's future, and that of the galaxy as well!**

**Please leave reviews to let me know what your thinking and if you like/hate/feel ambivilent about this story, any good jokes you've heard recently, or any novels or Ph. D theses you may have prepared for my perusal.**


	2. Chapter 1

Shepard closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the sun warming her exposed skin. She took a deep breath of the salt-sea air, listening to the sound of the waves as the gently broke on the sand. She slowly opened her eyes and looked down at her surroundings. She was sitting on a deckchair planted firmly in the sand, on a beach she that could have been on any of a hundred worlds. She looked down and saw herself in her favourite red bikini, which showed off her figure and looked perfect against her creamy skin, it had always made her feel especially sexy. She looked down along the length of her right arm to see her holding a blue hand in her own. She followed the sky-blue skin until she saw Liara, lying in a similar chair, dressed amazingly in a skin-tight yellow sundress, sheer enough to see the golden bikini she wore underneath. She met a pair of amazing blue eyes, a shy and yet somehow coy smile matching it underneath. She could hear the squeal and cry of high-pitched voices was getting closer, but before she could make out their origin, she heard an ear-shattering snap.

The scene disappeared instantly and she opened her eyes again, finding herself in a very different place. Gone were the sights and sensations of a beach, along with Liara holding her hand. Instead Illyria was in an office, lying on a comfortable couch, looking to the side as an older woman leaned back. She remembered now, she was in the office of Dr Sydney Autumn, the colony's psychiatrist.  
"…and ten. How do you feel Shepard?" Shepard looked down at her hands crossed over her stomach. Her left hand was still her normal five-fingered human hand, but she sighed as the realities of her right arm filtered in from the reality of her dream. There was a subtle sensation of servos and vibrations as her three-fingered geth arm stirred. She had come to terms with it long before she ever left earth, but it was still a painful reminder of all the loss she had suffered, that everyone had suffered really, during the Reaper War.

"I was in an amazing place Doc. It was a sunny beach, and I whole again, and with Liara… and someone else I think…"  
"I'm glad Shepard. It's a lot of progress since we started. I don't want to remind you too much, but when we started this hypnosis therapy, you couldn't conjure anything remotely soothing. I had serious concerns about the need to restrain you while we did these sessions. I'm so proud of you Illyria, you've come so far. I almost feel sorry for breaking you out of your trance if it was so cathartic."  
"Cathartic, you really think so?" Illyria always felt a little self-conscious after these sessions. Dr Autumn said that she could remember their sessions if she wished, but every time she was under Illyria insisted that she didn't want to.  
"Yes Illyria. You look so much better than I've seen you in months. I've got a good feeling about your treatment. If you agree with me, I think we can start reducing the frequency of our sessions together again."

"Wow, that'll make Liara smile."  
"She smiles just with your presence Illyria, never doubt that." Regardless of her self-deprecating, this news really would make Liara smile. When they'd first chosen to settle here, Shepard still suffered horrible nightmares, a side effect of what was likely PTSD. It got so bad that even Illyria had to agree she needed help, so they had turned to the colony's only psychiatrist. In their first weeks they had tried traditional talk therapy, but it hadn't shown any improvement, so Sydney had proposed using hypnotherapy. She would put Shepard into a trance and work on the root causes of her issues, while Shepard herself experienced something more pleasant. When they had started almost a year ago, their sessions had been daily. After six months, Sydney felt that Shepard was ready to be scaled down to weekly sessions.  
"Thanks Doc."  
"Please, how many times have I asked you to call me Sydney?"  
"Sorry Sydney, old habit. You won't believe how long it took me to respond to people calling me Illyria instead of Shepard."

"I can imagine. Anyway, if you agree, I think we can scale down your treatment again to fortnightly, perhaps even monthly."  
"I'm not sure if I'm ready for monthly yet." Illyria looked down at her hands again, uncertain.  
"It was just a suggestion, and I think you give yourself too little credit Illyria. We'll start with fortnightly though. We'll still keep with the diary part of your treatment," Sydney said, producing a new book. "You probably need a new one by now. You and Liara keep recording any events that cause you to have flashbacks, nightmares or any other form of anxiety attack. If it looks good after a month or two, we'll cut back to monthly." She stood up, holding out her hand for Shepard to pull herself up as well. They walked to the door in silence, out into the exit room, so patients didn't have to meet others coming in and out of sessions with her.

"I know this is a little unethical to tell you this Illyria, but you aren't the only person going through this. A lot of people on this colony are going through the same thing, but some of them don't have the courage to seek help like you did." As they stepped out, they saw Liara waiting for them. As the asari saw Shepard come out, her face split into a wide, warm grin, just like Sydney said. "And not all of them have a partner who loves them as much as Liara loves you Illyria," she whispered as Liara stood and walked over to them.

"Illyria, Sydney, I trust today went well."  
"Very well Liara, I believe your partner here has made huge progress in her treatment. I'm actually going to suggest we move to a fortnightly schedule. I'm going to have to ask you to keep up the diary entries, but hopefully in another six to twelve months, we can be friends instead of just professionals to each other."  
"I'd like that," said Liara genuinely. She really had been immensely appreciative of the doctor, even though she had been a little apprehensive.

When the two of them had finally decided on a place to settle, Autoia seemed the best bet. It was a colony that had been started as a refuge for those who, for whatever reason, couldn't return to their former homes after the Reaper War. Shepard and Liara had talked long and hard about it, but decided that if they wanted to live outside the limelight, at least until the galaxy could separate the myth of Shepard from the person, then Autoia seemed the best for them. A world that was like in Earth in many ways, Illyria had told her that the colony's name meant some sort of heaven in the Maori language, now largely in decline after the destruction of a lot of New Zealand.

When they arrived, Illyria had volunteered her time to helping out with infrastructure projects, while Liara went about restructuring the largely broken Shadow Net. Though she went under a new name, and let her hair down in the hopes she wouldn't be instantly recognised, the two of them agreed after a few weeks that she needed help. Even with daily melds between them, there was too much turmoil in Shepard's mind for the two of them to work through. So they had turned to Sydney Autumn, after a few tentative visits to make sure that she wouldn't out Shepard as the Hero of the Galaxy and bring the scrutiny of the galaxy upon them.

As they worked out a new appointment schedule, Liara kept up her smile for Illyria, one that she didn't think she could stop if she tried. As they got in their skycar and headed for their home, Illyria looked out at the shoreline, now certain it had been the one from her dream state. Liara noticed this as well, though kept her attention on keeping them airborne.  
"Something you want to talk about you session today?" Liara asked, hands firmly on the controls.  
"It was a fantastic dream Celeste. It was you and me on our beach, just sitting in the sand and holding hands," Shepard replied in a strangely disconnected voice. She couldn't shake the feeling that there had been something else in her trance, and it was bothering her that she couldn't figure it out.

As the car touched down on the smooth grass, Liara took Illyria's hand and they walked inside their home. It was small and tastefully decorated, with the first floor mostly open-plan living, dining and cooking space, with a large entertaining patio. On the second floor there was the guest bedroom and master bedroom with ensuite, the bathroom, as well as Shepard's library/study and Liara's office where she coordinated the Shadow Broker network. The two of them got out and went into the kitchen, Liara moving to get some snacks ready while Illyria made tea.

As they sat down and enjoyed the rest of their afternoon, Liara began to notice something was off about Illyria.  
"Penchant for them?" she asked. Illyria burst out laughing, putting an arm around Liara's shoulder. "I didn't say that right, did I?" replied Liara, hanging her head slightly and chuckling. She had gotten used to this as her relationship with Illyria had progressed. While she didn't do it as often now, they both still got a laugh when she mis-said a human aphorism.  
"Yeah, it's meant to be 'penny for them,' them being my thoughts in this case." Illyria looked out the window again. "My therapy session went well today, but something's been bothering me ever since I came out of that trance."

She fingered the bracelets that adorned both their wrists. Their bonding ceremony had been small and private, only their only close friends had been invited. Liara had looked radiant in a stunning yellow dress, Illyria dressed in a blue one. The ceremony itself was largely based on asari tradition, but the one concession to human tradition had been the bracelets themselves. Instead of the synthetic fibres, Illyria had been adamant that they be woven out of strings of precious metals. Their wrists were joined by strands of all shades of gold: yellow, red, white and even blue. It had been just after they had moved to Autoia, and had been a real boost to the local economy.

"Would you like to talk about it Illyria, or would you prefer to share it through a meld?"  
"Meld with me Liara, I think it might help." They interlaced their fingers and turned their heads towards each other, looking deeply into each other's eyes. Swirls of black began to appear in Liara's eyes as she whispered the words and reached out her mind to her bondmate's.  
"Embrace Eternity."

They both entered the dark space they had always been special to them, ever since their last meeting on earth before the final battle. Back then, the two of them had looked from the outside at the galaxy, spiralling and glittering. Now they stood in the blackness and Illyria brought up the memory of the trance. The beach, the two of them, Illyria with two humans arms again. The sights, sounds and other sensations from her memory. And then she remembered what had started her feeling like something was off. It started off almost at the edge of hearing, but soon became clear. It was high-pitched laughter, not from one, but from two voices. Illyria turned to look behind her, where she thought it had come from, and saw something that she couldn't make out, but she knew instinctively what… no… who they were.

_Our Children. _

The meld ended and the two of them opened their eyes, noticing that the sun had drifted much closer to the horizon. Liara's eyes returned to their normal blue, a tear beginning to form.  
"Illyria, was that what you saw today?"  
"Yes," the human replied. "I'm not sure if it's a dream or desire or something else, but now I've figured it out." She looked deeply into her bondmate, her soulmate's eyes, as if looking through them into the asari's soul. "Liara, I know you're not ready yet, and might now be for a few more decades... but…"  
"Yes Illyria?"  
"Liara… I think I'm ready… ready to have a child. Our child." She looked away from blue eyes for a moment.

"I know we haven't talked about it yet, and I know that any child I have would be human but I -" she was cut off when a blue finger pressed gently but insistently to her lips, before turning her head so they could look at each other again.  
"Illyria, I love you so much, never doubt that. We've been through so much together, I trust you completely, and I know you trust me. So believe me when I tell you that I would love nothing more than to support you if you wanted to have a child. I know that I will not be able to for a while yet, and though you will live much longer than a human, we do not know how that will affect your body's ability to have children." She placed a kiss on Illyria's lips. "So yes Illyria, I want to have children with you. And if our first child is a human, so much the better. I want you to be happy Illyria, and if this will make you happy, then I will do it gladly."

"I love you, more than words can tell," Illyria replied, pouncing on her asari. As they made love in the light of the setting sun, their bodies, minds and souls merging and entwining to become one instead of two, they thought no more about children and only about each other in this moment.


	3. Chapter 2

"... and ten," said Sydney as she brought Illyria out of her trance. As usual, she had asked Illyria if she wanted to remember what she saw in the trance this session, and was hardly surprised when she got a positive response, just like last two times. She would have guessed that whatever Illyria saw, she felt safe, secure and happy, if the smile on her face while under was anything to go be. Even if what they were working on while the famous human was hypnotised made Sydney want to vomit sometimes. She had no idea how Illyria had managed to survive until she came for help.

"That went well today Illyria," Sydney said as Shepard woke up, putting on her best forced smile as she tried to forget what she had been listening to Shepard describe. "You've been making tremendous progress in the last month. And it really shows in your diary, there has been a definite reduction in your episodes since we started this new book. Is there anything you'd like to tell me about changes in your home life? You don't have to tell me, I'm just curious to know what has had such a marked effect on your mental well-being." She leaned back as Shepard rubbed her eyes, a smile on her face.

"Well, as a medical professional, you do have access to my medical records Sydney," Illyria replied.  
"That doesn't tell me much Illyria," Sydney replied jokingly.  
"Well, you're a smart woman, and I just gave you a big clue, so why don't you tell me what could possibly have me feeling better, mentally speaking?" Illyria gave her a satisfied smirk. Sydney just rolled her eyes and picked up a datapad linked to her terminal. She quickly accessed her file on Illyria, before clicking on the links to her expanded medical records. She scanned back six weeks, just in case, before noting that two days after the first session where Illyria wanted to remember her trance-state dream, there was a visit to her GP. Followed by a referral to Dr Ivan Doyest the next day. Then several more visits to his clinic over the next two weeks, then Illyria's session with her again. Two days ago another visit to his clinic and Shepard's scheduled session with her again.

Frowning slightly at Dr Doyest escaping her professional and personal knowledge, she hit the link to information on his clinic and Illyria's records of her visits with him. As she read a picture began to form in her mind, before it solidified as she looked at the results of the last test she had taken at his clinic two days ago. Her eyes inadvertently flicked over to Illyria's arm, at the small mark at her elbow where the needle would have gone for the blood test, the results of which were on her datapad's screen right now. Sydney couldn't stop the smile threatening to overtake her face now even if she tried.

"Well Illyria, it seems you've been quite the busy woman in the last month. And may I be the first to say this to you: Congratulations."  
"It's incredible, right?" Illyria stated more than asked.  
"It certainly is; an everyday miracle."  
"I never wanted it, you know, back when I was serving... back before all of this." She gestured vaguely, unsure how to express what she meant, but Sydney understood. "I didn't want to meet anyone, I didn't want to fall in love, didn't want the hurt that it would bring. I just wanted to honour my fallen squad and be the best there ever was. But that all changed after meeting Liara. And after the war, just recently, I realised that I wanted... no, that I needed something else. For so long, I did what I had to do to save the galaxy from the Reapers. Now, I realise that I need something to focus on if I want this galaxy to be rebuilt the way it should be. And Dr Doyest was kind enough to help me find that focus, that reason."

"I assume you already talked about this with Liara?" Sydney asked.  
"She was there next to me when we got the results. To say she was thrilled was an understatement."  
"Then that's great Illyria. So that's why you think you've been doing better?"  
"It has to be Doc. At some level, deep down, I know that if I'm going to do this, I have to have my head on straight. What's about to happen is going to play merry hell with my mind for years, and I'll be damned if I don't at least try and get my head on right before it does."

"I know exactly what you mean Illyria. And I think, given the vast improvement I've seen over the last month, that we can definitely cut back your sessions to monthly. Now, let's not keep Liara waiting." The two of them stood and walked into the receiving lounge, where Liara was sitting down, looking over a datapad. She looked up when the two humans entered, and her smile was brilliant, lighting up her blue face.  
"I understand congratulations are in order," Sydney said as she offered her palm in the asari greeting that she had learned from another of her patients. Liara's smile dimmed a little as she turned a curious gaze at her bondmate.  
"Really Illyria, you couldn't wait until later?" she asked, her tone slightly mocking and playful. Good news had a way of lightening even the worst tempers.  
"Hey, she asked, and as a patient, I felt it was worth explaining a few things to her. She worked out the rest on her own," Shepard defended, throwing her hands up in surrender.

"However I found out about it, congratulations to the both of you. I know you only found out recently, and you shouldn't tell anyone for at least three months, but as a professional and a friend, I'm extremely happy for you. This is obviously good for the two of you, and Illyria in particular. She has been making tremendous progress, so I'm suggesting cutting back to monthly sessions. We still have a few things to work through, but I feel this will be over faster in light of your new circumstances."  
"Who'd have thought it Liara?" Illyria asked. "When I saved the galaxy, who would have thought that the best news I'd ever hear would be 'You're pregnant!?'"

* * *

Alone in the vast reaches of space, a single small station hung in orbit of a dwarf star, it's small heat and light adequate for the stations needs and its owner's want of privacy. He had finished his mediation for the day, and so far had managed a whole fifteen minutes of blessed mental silence. He took a sip of the tea he had brewed, and listened as the door to his study opened and his favourite niece and lieutenant came in to present the day's report.

"Ah Anzhelika, such a fine day, is it not?" Anzhelika merely nodded, knowing her uncle was talking about this mental control for today in being able to silence the voices that plagued him.  
"Indeed Uncle, but I have little good news for you."  
"That is the way of life sadly," he replied. "So tell me, confirm for me that our last plea to the galaxy at large for Illyria Shepard to come forward has been ignored."  
"No word from Shepard or any of the former crew of the Normandy, not even the old cook Gardner."  
"Sadly, we knew it would be a futile effort, but I want it at least recorded that we tried everything we could to be peaceful before our hands were forced. How does our plan progress?"

This was the part Anzhelika felt uneasy about. While she wasn't above the use of force when required, her uncle's plan seemed a little... unstable. She had her agents, the scraps and remnants of Cerberus that had escaped the galaxy's wrath at Anadius and the Illusive Man's insanity of his Reaper-based implants because of their usefulness. Not soldiers, but often spies, smugglers and other shady characters. They had been stealing, buying or otherwise acquiring WMD's for the last month and moving them into position in various guises. The final stages of preparation were now complete, all that wanted for was the go order from her Uncle.

"Uncle, are you certain? Perhaps we can contact the Shadow Broker again, offer him something more than last time." _Please Uncle, do not start a fight I am not certain you can win_, the pleaded in her thoughts.  
"I am determined in our course Anzhelika. Give the order for the first weapon to be deployed. Then we shall see."  
"As you wish Uncle," Anzhelika replied, before turning around and exiting the study. As the doors closed, the voices that never seemed to stop began to return, whispering their inane and unhelpful outputs directly into his troubled mind.

* * *

Thousands of light-years away from both Shepard and Anzhelika, a parcel was delivered to a luxury apartment on the Citadel. Or at least the turian courier attempted it, said apartment's tenant not being in residence for quite some time. So he just left it with the reception staff. The asari took the package, looked at the address label for 'Commander Shepard' and added it to the gigantic heap that had been sent to the empty room. She rolled her eyes at both the hopefulness and hopelessness of the sender's cause. For over a year now, since the defeat of the Reapers, Commander Shepard's apartment in the Tiberius Towers had been inundated with physical mail, wishing her thanks, proposing marriage and life-debts, promising her death, and everything in between. To the asari, it was just something more to add to the pile. As she did, she reminded herself to organise a collection, it had been about a month since the last one and it would be nice to have the tearoom back to normal.

She had no idea, nor did the courier or half a dozen others whose hands that particular parcel went through, that it would be the start of something that would bring an already shaky galaxy to its knees. For at the same time as that parcel failed to work its way into the hands of the former Spectre, a device that had been carefully hidden on Freedom's Progress beeped. It had been hidden at the exact spot where some years before she had made her return to the galactic stage.

As the coded signal was received by the tiny transceiver, a light changed from red to green. Then, a single electrical pulse shot from the transceiver along a copper wire to release its load of electrons into a device that created a small concussive force. This detonator charge reacted both chemically and kinetically with a sphere of tightly-packed explosive to press down on a critical mass of radioactive super-heavy metals, causing a chain reaction that created an explosion not seen by human eyes in centuries.

As the clouds rose in the distinctive mushroom shape of a nuclear explosion, the colony of Freedom's Progress, and the mixed species of twenty thousand who called it home, were wiped from existence in a single fiery instant, the first casualties in what was to be a war unlike the galaxy had ever seen. A war waged against a single person, spanning the galaxy.

A war against Illyria Shepard.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: I usually put these at the end, but this one is a warning, not a message. **

**Illyria Shepard is having to deal with a lot of deep-rooted mental issues in the wake of the Reaper War, and in this chapter, we get to see a glimpse of what is happening inside her own mind. It will not be puppies and rainbows, it will be scary and horrible. **

**You have been warned. This is only the beginning.**

* * *

They were more than halfway home when Liara's omni-tool buzzed. She glanced down at the small flashing light above her wrist, and her face paled several shades. Illyria noticed this and the asari's knuckles tightening on the controls, and looked at Liara's face, placing a reassuring hand on the asari's wrist, just above the bonding bracelet.  
"What's wrong Liara?" she asked hesitantly. She had never seen her bondmate so tense before, even during the war.  
"That particular tone, it's an alert from Glyph. Something big has just hit the Shadow Net."  
"How big are we talking Liara?" Illyria asked. She tried hard to not involve herself with Liara's identity as the Shadow Broker, in fact she had argued long and hard at one point for Liara to abandon it, but things like this tended to bleed over regardless.

"I don't know yet," LIara replied as her omni-tool buzzed again, and the holographic changed slightly. "But that tells me that now over a hundred agents have reported it, so I'm going to say big. We're almost home though, so it can wait until we get there." Even as she spoke, Illyria felt the aircar being pushed harder than it usually was in Liara's hands.

What seemed like only moments later, the aircar was touching down at their home, the two figures inside racing into the house and Liara's Broker office. As she sat down, dozens of screens came to life and multiple incoming voice channels squawked at them. Liara spent a moment silencing her agents and consolidating the data, her face paling as what happened became apparent. Illyria was silent as well, her face pale and her knuckles white as she gripped the back of Liara's chair.

"By the Goddess..." Liara muttered.  
"Why... why would someone do this?" Illyria asked no-one. Neither of them could find the words to speak as they looked on at the data scrolling through the screen. It didn't feel right, it almost didn't feel real, but they couldn't argue with the pictures, video and Shadow Broker agents all telling them the same thing.

A nuclear device had just been set off on Freedom's Progress. Half a dozen agents were forwarding information that an approaching freighter had recorded, including a video. At first it was just a nose-cam view of the freighter approaching the colony from high atmosphere, then a blinding flash and the colony was gone, replaced by a mushroom cloud. Liara turned up the volume of one agent, listening to his report.  
"Sir, we managed to buy this video and the associated sensor data from the freighter navigator, who we've done business with before. At this stage, I can report that a nuclear device was set off on Freedom's Progress little more than an hour ago. Judging from the size and intensity of the blast, I think we can assume no survivors."  
"No survivors," Illyria muttered, out of range of the microphone.  
"There must have been 20,000 people on that colony," Liara said under her breath, before activating the voice-distorting microphone. "Get in contact with that ship, and any others nearby. I want confirmation of survivors, readings of radiation intensity, and any recoverable data. Someone is going to want to know who did this, and I'm going to be able to tell them. Aren't I, Agent Torak?"  
"Yes Shadow Broker," Torak replied, before several of the other lines went silent as Torak began organising. The line from one of her other senior agents, code-named Giselle, was still active, so Liara turned to it.

"This is the Shadow Broker, report."  
"Sir, we've got a lot of people, and I mean a lot of people, talking about this, some to us, others using communication lines we've tapped. Those calling us are asking about the usual: Who did it, how will this affect galactic trade, what will government and the military response be. A lot of the chatter is less informative. There are several groups already claiming responsibility, but we've already discounted them. They are too small, and don't have enough details to make it credible. A lot of human groups are up in arms, since humans were the majority species on the colony. A lot of batarians are supportive of it, saying it goes a small way to repaying Shepard's action at Bahak. A few that we've connected to the old Hegemony have even go so far as to praise the ones responsible, asking them to come forward and be rewarded."  
"Anything else?"  
"Nothing yet. I will continue to monitor the situation and inform you of any development Shadow Broker. Giselle out."

Liara put out a blanket message to all agent to report to their relevant supervisor agents until further notice, before turning off the feeds and swivelling the chair to face Illyria. It only took one look for Liara to see that all the happiness her bondmate had been feeling for the past month was gone, replaced by horror. The asari stood and embraced Illyria tightly, before leading her from the room and to their bedroom, a safe space for the two of them. Once there and laying on the bed, Liara just held the now-shivering Illyria, rubbing her organic arm gently and murmuring soothing words into the human's ear. After several long minutes of this, Liara felt Illyria tilt her head up to look at the asari's face. Looking down, she could see the terror in those eyes, and wanted nothing more than to comfort her. Pushing a strand of her black hair behind her ear, she placed a kiss on the human's forehead, hearing the soft moan that came from Illyria's mouth. Looking back down, Liara could see all the signs that Sydney had told them to look for so long ago.

Illyria's face was ashen, her lips drawn taut and her eyes opened wide, her pupils dilated far more than was natural. Though she was looking right into the asari's eyes, Liara saw to recognition there. She wasn't seeing Liara, she wasn't seeing anything, she was trapped inside her own mind, reliving the horror that had been her life during the war. Liara just held Illyria as tightly as she could, while subtly activating her omni-tool to summon Glyph. As the holographic VI projection came into view in the doorway to the bedroom, she activated the program that would call Dr Autumn with a series of eye movements. Silently acknowledging, Glyph disappeared, leaving Liara to hold Illyria until help arrived.

* * *

Blood.

That's all Illyria could see, blood, blood everywhere. Pooling on the ground, congealing on the walls, painted on the ceiling. Dripping from her hands; from the eyes and ears and mouths of the legion of the dead that surrounded her on every side. And the whispers too, the voices of those who had died, they clawed at her ears, demanding she listen as she tried desperately to block them out.

"_You killed us Shepard!_"

The whispered accusation raked across her psyche.  
"No, I tried to save you, I tried so hard!" she cried out at nothing and everything, at the silent accusing stares of the dead who never left her, whose weight was a burden she would always feel on her soul. She closed her eyes but she could still feel it, feel their stares on her, peeling away her clothes and flesh to the soul beneath.

"_We died because of you!"_

"No, it wasn't me! It was the Reapers, it wasn't me!" She stood up and ran, eyes still closed, trying to get away from them, their horrible stares and the accusations that haunted her every waking moment and tormented her when she dared to sleep. She didn't look as she ran, because she knew who she would see. Kaidan Alenko, as he'd seen her the last time before the fateful decision on Virmire. David Anderson, who died on the Citadel before she'd activated the Crucible. The little boy from Vancouver. The faces of the dead, thousands upon thousands, representing every species in the galaxy, all staring at her, blaming her for letting them die.

As she ran, there was a new set of whispers, ones that didn't usually feature in her episodes, ones she couldn't black out either.  
_"Oh my God Liara, what happened."  
"She's having an attack, but this is worse than usual."  
"You're right, this is much worse, I'm glad you called me. Shepard, can you hear me?"  
_"Quiet, please make it stop... please make it stop!" Illyria shouted as she ran. She knew it wouldn't help, she would never escape the dead, never escape their whispers, no matter how far she ran.

"_Oh God, her heart rate is through the roof."  
"What are you doing Sydney?"  
"I may be a psychiatrist, but I also have first aid training Liara. Illyria is having the worst panic attack of her life, her heart is beating way too fast. This injection is a combination that hopefully should slow her heart down before she goes into cardiac arrest, as well as inducing a short coma."  
"By the Goddess, are you insane?"  
"Liara, this is the best option right now. Now, just let me -" _

Illyria didn't hear the shot, but she felt it, like something stabbing into her neck. She screamed in pain, raising a hand to her wound. She fell over as the pain increased with pressure, falling into the layer of blood on the floor and she opened her eyes. She could see them all again, their feet and legs like trees, an endless forest of bodies planted in a soil of blood. But they were fading now, becoming blurry and dark. As the darkness closed in on her, she finally took a deep breath and let it come, let death descend on her, let it come and free her mind from the torment of those she had failed.

* * *

"There, she's stable now. The induced coma should wear off in about an hour, long enough for her to be taken to the hospital," Sydney said, closing her first aid kit.  
"Sydney, are you sure?"  
"Liara, she just about burnt herself out with that attack. She needs electrolytes, glucose and a few other things, and I want to make sure that there won't be any other damage, physical or otherwise, to her or the child. Now, just wait here while I make the call." Liara could do little else, seeing as she was intent on not leaving the bed or letting the human out of her sight until she was awake. A few minutes later, Sydney came back into the room.

"Okay, I've called for medical transport, and the hospital knows to expect her."  
"You did -"  
"And before you ask, yes, I did make sure not to tell them whose really coming. I know you two need your privacy, God knows I would if I was in your shoes. Now while we're waiting, why don't you tell me exactly what happened?" Liara looked away unsure about telling Sydney what had caused Illyria to be like this. But she was pregnant now, and she wanted, no needed to be better once their children were born. And the only way it would happen was to tell Sydney everything.

"You'll see it on the news soon I'm sure. A nuclear device was just set off on Freedom's Progress, twenty thousand dead. She... she went there once," Liara said, almost to herself. _No, it couldn't be, it's just a coincidence_, she thought to herself. A notion dashed as Glyph came into the room.  
"Apologies Doctor T'Soni, but there is an urgent transmission that requires your attention."  
"Forward it to my omni-tool," she said, activating the orange holographic tool. As the screen came up, a video window appeared.

"Hello everyone. No doubt you have heard about the recent incident on Freedom's Progress." The speaker was roughly humanoid, but the face darkened and voice obscured beyond recognition. "Some people might say this was the act of terrorists. I prefer to think of it as a way to get someone's attention. And I'm sure they are listening now." Here was a pause, and the figure leaned in towards the camera.

"For over a year, we have been offering a substantial reward for Commander Illyria Shepard to come forward and make herself known to us. When the Commander declined to answer our generous inducement, we branched out, asking the citizens of the galaxy to help us find the Commander for a simple task, just a moment of her time. But now our patience has run out. So now, we are calling you out Commander, and any who are hiding you! Freedom's Progress was just the start. There will be more like it, once a day every day, until the Commander finds us. We've left clues that only the Commander can follow, so don't even think about trying to stop us.

"When, and only when, the Commander herself turns up at our doorstep to answer for what she has done will these attacks stop. And I warn you Commander, since you're listening, that this was the smallest. Freedom's Progress will be but a drop in the ocean of blood that you will be responsible for if you fail to act. Clock's ticking Commander."

The screen cut to black, leaving the asari and human staring at the screen.  
"Goddess no... not again," Liara said, tears falling down her cheeks.


End file.
